Geehosiphat! My final term – and nursing preceptorship – are flying by. I realized it was time to update the ol’ resume, start putting in some job applications for when I’m all grown up and a real nurse, and to finish up some scholarship applications that I’ve been cheerfully ignoring.
I realize, the job market being what it is, that choosing a nursing specialty might not be my option, but that it will instead choose me. I personally think I’d make a hell of a med-surg nurse – I actually enjoy meeting new friends all the time (but not at the turbo pace of the ER). I realized that getting people excited about eating hospital food, getting them their meds on time, and making sure they are safe actually makes me happy. Let me tell you about our pudding and jello options, folks!
Don’t get me wrong. . .I have loved my time in the ICU, and if I landed a critical-care job or new graduate internship I’d be wildly happy. . .but at the same time, the ICU doesn’t always afford a lot of chances to be joyful. Every day, bottom line, you are guaranteed to be surrounded by people who are having a crappy time (at a minimum) and are possibly dying. Yeah, yeah, I know death is part of life, blah blah blah. Try telling that to little kids who just lost their mom or dad because they couldn’t sustain life and the grownups had to let go and turn off the pressors and the machines. Tweakers who OD’ed trying to get out of bed and painting themselves with their own offal. People who may never get out of bed again, period. The sad, sad, futile sadness of some of it. There’s just a lot, and it’s hard to describe it until one’s wallowed in a large ICU for some time. Yeah, the machines that go ping! are pretty neat, and I know they save lives, but sometimes it’s a bit much. (The ice cream parties for the staff, courtesy of the organ transplant coordination agency aint bad, either.)
My coworkers tease me sometimes. . .”Oh disorderlyCNA, sounds like a long-term care nurse in the making!” So it’s not like there’s a betting pool, but some of my coworkers are starting to put down bets one where I’ll end up. I will end up somewhere! I’ve told them that if I’m still there as a CNA six months from now to kick me squarely in the ass!
Some think I’d be great in peds (they are insane!) or in the NICU (yeah, right. . .tiny sized critically ill patients sound so much better than adult critically ill patients!). One of my managers thought I’d be a great psych nurse. Really? (Are you mad at me? Writing me up? Glaaahhhh. . .)
So, I guess it remains to be seen where I’ll end up. So for the time being, I’m enjoying the learning opportunities afforded to me by my preceptorship, and acquiring the rest of the RN role. Long way to go, though.