Monthly Archives: August 2012

Slacker CNA Jobs to Grab For. . .

So, it’s a busy night in the ICU. . .what tasks should you jump at to give your barking dogs a break?

  1. unit/monitor clerk – on the plus side, you’re definitely off your feet.  On the minus side, that phone just keeps ringing with the lab tech whose accent makes him/her impossible to understand!  Don’t miss the chance to remind your peers when one of their patients has a telemetry lead off, but don’t bother to tell them which one.  Who doesn’t love a game of bug the sleeping patient??  Be the most popular person in your unit!
  2. 1:1 safety companion – pros:  possibility of patient falling asleep, leaving you with time to read, study, Facebook or finally solve that tough Angry Birds level.  cons:  being hit, scratched, kicked, punched, spat upon or sworn at (my fave comeback:  “Hey, only family gets to talk to me that way!”)  LOLs aplenty for all! 

  1. bed driver for MRI/CT scan – pros:  ability to sit in comfy chair for extended time period in operator’s booth watching scan in real time and listening to radiology techs bitch about their hellish shift (points for variety here).  cons:  transferring heavy-ass bariatric patients from bed to trolley and back again, getting lost on the way to imaging and looking silly.
  2. semi-professional typist – tired of actually doing your job?  seek out the nurses working on their LPN to RN or RN to BSN or whatever and offer to type their papers for them!  pros:  they do your work  for you extremely happily while you type and will buy you coffee if you whine enough or look at them with a pained expression.  cons:  APA format sucks, possible repetitive stress disorder. . .
  3. code lurker – pros:  excellent slacker position for newbie hospital CNA, lots of exciting things to learn, no bodily fluid splashes.  cons:  may get pulled into doing compressions, may get asked to get exotic piece of necessary equipment from storage room way the hell across unit, thereby defeating slacker purpose of job


Disclaimer:  these positions are temporary at best.  As always, your best bet is to keep moving, because a rolling stone gathers no moss and a CNA in motion tends to remain. . .employed!